Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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