before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
