Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i've created a new STD.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
