omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
one might say we're banned from that church
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
