Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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