Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
