with your own penis?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
