I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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