There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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