called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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