In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
