found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
These tits shall not be calmed
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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