I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
