the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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