I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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