Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
