well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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