The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
