Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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