...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh god it's open bar.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
