they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize