Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
