i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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