Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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