Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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