How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
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Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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