I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
