I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
someone owes me an orgasm
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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