she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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