garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
