she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize