We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
