triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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