If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
