I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
