i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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