how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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