You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
