Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i need some magic done to my vagina
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
tell me about the eggs
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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