she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
