Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
