White coat. Heels.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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