My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
