eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
