If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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