oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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