Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
