5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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