You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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