I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
