chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
this is an emotional support booty call
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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