I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
