only you would photoshop your dick
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
