Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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