her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize