My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
