amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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