My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
