Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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