do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
