What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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