He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
