My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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