Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
