This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
