I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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