so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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