There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
