Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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