Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
ok first of all what the fuck
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
