Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
