we're blogging at a bar
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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